Apr 2024

Reacting vs Responding

Here's a little secret that practically changed everything I do, the way I do.

Responding and not reacting. ∆

And I must admit, I still fail at it often. It takes discipline, composure and a lot of awareness.

It is not a way of thinking, it isn't limited to mental rewiring, it is a way of "being" altogether.

I've seen a lot of people use them interchangeably.

To me, that is a loss of subtlety.

That subtlety is- time. One that is mental.

There's a reason YouTube has a plethora of "reaction videos" , but response videos only happen when there's beef between two people.

Most, are careful, and thought out replies- others not so much, but that is a matter of capability and resource.

Yet, what is common to them all?

a processing period.

Again, even these videos, or tweet wars, are often called "replies", not responses.

Honestly? the only place where I see "respond" being used as the norm, is in emails.

Unless you're drunk mailing your ex when she has blocked you from every other channel, you're likely giving everything a good thought before hitting "send".

You attempt being as articulate as possible.

You express your intent well.

You do not blurt out half baked ideas which are often just rearranged thoughts you picked from someplace else- hoping the person in front of you will finish it for you.

It takes effort. It takes having a mind of your own, cognizant both of consequence, and precedents.

We all say we're living in a fast world, but we purely mean that in a process oriented, physical sense.

Look at the amount of information that is being thrown at you every moment.

You're an exception if you even reached this line here, being on LinkedIn- with 2 previous posts telling you how to be more productive, the latter ones telling you how to make money faster, and others around them documenting the next big thing that happened in someone's life, followed by a few opinion posts. You probably jumped on this app tired of Instagram, or are taking a "break" at work. Maybe, this is the first thing you'd read in the morning.

I'm not even sure why you didn't give up at the previous paragraph, just look at that monstrosity.

Point is, this constant bombardment does not allow us to have fully formed ideas, it does not help us have a buffer space between events around us, and the world inside us.

The same holds true for our personal lives too, we keep reacting to things without having an idea of what we really intend to do with the 60-90 years we have.

Responding requires creating that space, responding forces you to know your intent well.

That is a good starting point for everything else. You'll be at a little more peace too.