Nov 2022

Things to remember 3

1) When you love someone, it doesn't automatically become a reason to justify abusive behavior. I've seen way too many people trying to rationalize their partners/parents/other important figure's abusive behavior by saying "They get so angry because they love me".

To love, is to be responsible. To love is to care. To love is to protect those you love not just from others, but yourself.

2) I have realized overtime, and have started to believe more and more in our capacity to bounce back. There will be bad experiences, some that could even be termed traumatic. Making that central to our identity is where we fall. To accept it as a part of you, to find workarounds it, and eventually overcoming it through sheer will is, infact possible. To not deny yourself the possibility of a better future is the most human thing you can do.

3) Numbing things down never really helps. "Suffering in silence " is never really the solution. I've done it too many times to know that. Sometimes, it is just difficult to talk about the things that bother you, and that is totally okay.

Many will come telling you to "man up" and "you cry too much, other's don't, it doesn't mean they don't suffer".

Tell them to shut the fuck up first. Now that you're done, slowly walk away.

Yes everyone has a hard time and they don't talk about it, only to project all of that onto others, going on a full blown crusade to make others act the same way they do, creating a huge loop of invalidations and repression.

Break that. Why do you think they say you gain wisdom only when you're old?

Steve Jobs in his famous Stanford speech mentions how how it is easier to connect the dots looking backwards. You simply have more time to process things.

You can still do it, while being young. Make reflections a part of your routine.

That's how you become a better person, friend, father, mother or whatever other role you play.

4) Laugh more. Maniacally if the situation allows.

5) Accept being wrong, but take your stand and put every aspect of your truth out there. Get criticised, and never take that personally. Take responsibility for actions, not thoughts.